How a Professional Holds an Open House (Humor)

How a Professional Holds an Open House (Humor)It happens a lot.

A well dressed prospective buyer saunters into my darling character home in Glendale, looks around and then says, with a disdainful sneer,”it’s so old”

First, some background.

I live and sell homes in Glendale, Ca. 80% of our town was developed between 1926 and 1949. It is filled with romantic Spanish, adorable Tudor and sprawling ranch homes. We do not hide the character of our homes, we celebrate it, advertise it, point it out.

So, with that background in mind, let us return to our scene: I am in a 1920’s Spanish home that features Batchelder tile, hand hewn trestle beams and quarter sawn oak floors. My listing is surrounded by older homes in this mature neighborhood set in a TOWN of older homes. Get the picture?

Said well dressed buyer says,

“This home is so (disdainful sneer) old! I like high ceilings, open floor plan and granite on the floor, walls, ceilings and counter tops. I want a new kitchen and new bathrooms. Everything here must be ripped out. How can people live like this?”

Ok, I am a professional and this is not my own house. I can, and should, be dispassionate. This is just an opinion.

And yet.

This is just sixteen different kinds of wrong. Forget the near terminal rudeness and lack of class or decorum.  Were they expecting that an old home in an old neighborhood would somehow be… erm… not old?

And, newsflash, people had different lives back then! An “open” floor plan was not valued when this home was built. If “open” and “granite” and “new” are on the must have list, what possess this person to look in an old house?!

Are they hoping that the exterior is just a lie and, inside, they will be magically transported into an International Modern- all shiny, airy and rectilinear?

I want to say,

“Well, Honey, this ain’t Harry Potter’s world and I ain’t holding open one of them magical tents. This here home is a character Spanish outside and a character Spanish inside, as well.

Deal with it.”

But, that is not what I say. I, am a professional.

“I understand. Would you like to see my new listing on Kirkham Ave.? Located in the Emerald Isle area of the Glendale Hills, I think it has just what you are looking for.” (cue sweet and sincere smile)

Sometimes, I just hate being grown up.

About Kendyl Young

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